Want a little more self-esteem?

Increasing your self esteem is one of the greatest ways you can grow as a person; it can be liberating and open doors that you never dreamed possible. We were all born with total self esteem, for whatever reason it sometimes gets worn down – the good news is that it is possible to build it back up again too.

Self-esteem can mean many things to different people, to me, it means appreciating yourself and being self confident. More specifically, having a positive attitude, valuing yourself highly, convinced of your own abilities and seeing yourself as competent, in control and able to do what you want. Self esteem has many facets, however, key elements include: loving and appreciating ourselves, accountability and responsibility.

All too often we focus on our failures, however, when you begin to appreciate yourself you can start to acknowledge all the successes (small and large) and any failures are an opportunity to learn more and become flexible enough to try new things.

Individuals that have high self-esteem take responsibility for their lives and for the situations they find themselves in. People with low self-esteem become victims of circumstances. Accountability is a critical element in personal empowerment and increasing self esteem. You need to begin to plan what you actively want from life – not just focusing on what you don’t want!

Acting responsibly towards others becomes a critical element of increasing self esteem, because this distinguishes it from an ego trip. People with high self-esteem treat others with respect and dignity. People with low self-esteem often treat others poorly (even being shy and quiet could be seen as rude by some). When our self esteem and self confidence are high, we don’t need to put others down to feel important.

One way to do this is to understand that most actions from another person has a positive intention (for them) behind their behaviour. For example, a person might be very controlling in a certain situation that affects you, however, perhaps that person was once in a similar situation and that behaviour got them out of the situation, so they are acting on something that had worked for them in the past. So, although we might dislike what the person does, we can appreciate their positive intention – there are many examples of this in society today.

This single assumption has the power to transform relationships, the assumption of positive intentions allows us to separate the person from their behaviour – we can approve of the person though we disapprove of their behaviour.

Effects of increased self esteem

Research into self-esteem has shown that self-esteem empowers people and protects them against a wide spectrum of self-defeating and socially undesirable behaviours.

  • The family is a strong force in the development of self-esteem. The early years are particularly important in establishing an ‘authentic and abiding self-esteem’ in a person.
  • High parental self-esteem is crucial to the ability to nurture high self-esteem and personal effectiveness in children.
  • School climate plays an important role in the development of the self-esteem of students.
  • People who hold themselves in high esteem are less likely to engage in destructive and self-destructive behaviour including child abuse, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and crime.
  • Young girls who possess positive self-esteem are less likely to become pregnant as teenagers.
  • High self-esteem can never be given to a person by another person or society. It must be sought, ‘earned’ by the individual for him or herself.
  • Self-esteem may be expressed as an overall generic characteristic, for example, ‘she exhibits a high self-esteem’ or as a more specific behavioural attribute, such as ‘he certainly has a high sense of self-esteem in tackling a difficult writing task, but he has absolutely no belief in his competence to do anything numerical’ .
  • Though the definition of the concept varies, commonly used terms include: security, connectedness, uniqueness, assertiveness, competence and spirituality.

These traits are characteristic of people who are confident of their abilities and gain pleasure from acting on them. Practicing problem-solving with clarity, resolving conflicts, and clearly communicating thoughts and desires isn’t only good for you – it’s good for those around you.

Hypnotherapy & NLP self esteem techniques

If you feel this is holding you back and you need more confidence, hypnotic self esteem techniques can help you to change the old habits and behaviours right down at an unconscious level – it helps to raise positivity and this new found confidence enables you to overcome issues that previously may have got in your way.

I can work with you to rebuild your confidence and break down self limiting beliefs that you may have about yourself, then assist you in defining the right steps forward, where we look to the future and not always dwelling on the past – I always like to hear the old saying “the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.” Just because something was a certain way in the past – it does not mean that it needs to be that way in the future too.

Call me and we can explore your situation and see what is possible.

Anxiety, OCD & Depression

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