Help to manage your emotions

Many people have, issues, fears, anxiety and doubts in their lives, none of us are born with these problems – we actually learned how to do them over the years from watching others and from exposure to the events in our lives.

The good news is that “if you can learn to do something, then equally, you can learn not to do it! So, let’s talk about therapy – using a range of safe and proven therapies I can help get you back on track, because life is too short to have feelings on the inside, that you can’t control and don’t make you feel good.

I think there is so much more that we can all benefit from too, a real understanding of whom we actually are.

Over the years, I have found that many people seem to lose touch with who they really are, on the inside. As time passes, our circumstances and responsibilities change quite radically, as we move through life; relationships, children, jobs, families, ageing etc. However, our thoughts (good and bad) about ourselves are often “frozen in time” from a younger age.

Sometimes we are left with beliefs, emotions and responses that don’t take us forward in a positive manner and can often be the cause of depression, eating disorders, phobias, anxiety, panic attacks, addictive behaviours and unwanted habits.

These are often compounded by the negative ‘voice’ inside our heads that tries to stop us failing and limits our true potential – comments like: I’m not good enough; I can’t do it, what’s the point? I can’t be successful, it doesn’t matter anyway.

The reality is – it doesn’t have to be that way, it is very possible to make positive changes and to take control of your emotions.

Treating versus healing

The difference between treating and healing is that in the former, the context remains the same, whereas in the latter, the clinical response is elicited by a change of context so as to bring about the removal of the cause of the condition rather than mere recovery from its symptoms. For example; it’s one thing to to take anti-hypertension medication for high blood pressure and quite another to expand the persons context of life so they stop being anxious, frustrated or repressive.

Changing attitudes

I think it all starts in your head, people have a good attitude or they have a gloomy attitude and people with a good attitude can overcome any difficulty. People seem to get into difficulty because they don’t plan well, they don’t think about living in the future. They seem to focus on the past or the present. Truth is, if you are going to live a long life you want all of it to be happy and the best way to get that is to have a plan.

And the best thing to plan with is your mind – you need to think about what your life is like today, what it will be like in a year’s time, what are the ramifications of what you are currently doing? It’s one thing to look for a new job and quite another to look for a new job that you would really like, and sadly most people don’t do this.

We should be continuously refreshing our plans, making sure we are doing what we want to do, taking care of our children the way we want to and are heading in the right economic direction, because just sticking your head in the sand and hoping, is just not going to work.

What we should do is plan further ahead, plan how to make our life a better place. Christiaan Barnard who did the first heart transplant, said that he did it hundreds of times in his mind before he actually performed the operations. And that’s the good thing about having a brain; you can run through many scenarios, you can wonder what it would be like to have this job, or that job. You could go out and get some training, maybe, work two jobs for a while or study at night, this is normal for students, however, there is no reason why you can’t do this when you are in your 30’s or 40’s so that in the long run, you end up having a much better life.

Whenever you hit bad times you have a choice, you can say “Oh this is so horrible” or you can say “There’s a lesson to be learned here.” And the lesson is, you don’t want to feel this way again and you should make sure you are heading in the right direction. Its one thing to plod your way out of difficulty and it’s quite another to come racing out on the way to something good.

Many famous people have lost their fortunes or their companies and just came right back – because they had a good attitude about life – they saw that there is always an opportunity – “This is a rare and unprecedented opportunity” was their mantra “This is a rare and unprecedented opportunity to build a better life.” So, rehearse around and around in your own mind until you can see a new direction, and remember, you can stop anything except a person with a good attitude.

Toxic emotions

There are other toxic emotions too – stress, pessimism, hopelessness, helplessness, anger, grief, shame, guilt, fear and apathy. These are the emotions that paralyse action and lead to disruptive patterns of behaviour, such as, not standing up for yourself, low self-esteem, getting into dysfunctional relationships, staying in dead-end jobs that are well below your capability, not charging what you are worth and not going after what you really want, fear and confusion around decision making, the inability to experience and express feelings, worrying about what people think of you, playing the victim and being a ‘poor me’ type, or controlling all situations so nobody can get close to you.

Let me help you get change and allow you to reconnect with your true potential – the actions, feelings, emotions and thoughts that are positive and will move you forward, allowing you to reconnect with:

  • Really understanding who you are and who you want to be
  • Respecting yourself leading to loving yourself more
  • Increased self belief
  • More happiness
  • Calmness
  • Laughter and good humour
  • Confidence and increased self-esteem
  • Freedom to express your needs
  • Motivation and clarity of goals

As a professional Clinical Hypnotherapist my style of therapy not only treats your feelings, but also, helps you to understand some of the inner conflicts that may be present – for example:

Many people tell me that they definitely ‘speak their mind’ – they then proceed to tell me that ‘not upsetting other people’ is very important to them. This may be what they feel inside, however, if they REALLY did always speak their mind, then, perhaps they would not be so truly concerned about the feelings of other people (or vice-versa).

This becomes compounded when the person ‘thinks’ they are speaking their mind but in reality are flavouring the message so as not to upset the other person – they then wonder why their message is often missed.

There are many of these ‘conflicts’ going on inside of us, I feel it is important to understand them and get a grasp on who you really are and what values are important to you. If you can list your values, decision making and communication becomes so much easier – you just follow your values.

Read more about my therapy here

Call me – let’s talk about what is possible

Take a while to browse the information on this site and when you are ready to make those positive changes in your life, ready to take that first step, contact me, we can discuss the nature of the change that you are looking for, your initial consultation is free and at that time we can discuss the best way to help you in a style that is most suitable and appropriate for you.

Anxiety, OCD & Depression

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